better living through... more drugs?

Went to the psych yesterday, he's added a prescription for xanax to the current list. Two tabs a day, when I "feel I need them". Per wikipedia, xanax is not a good thing for those with addictive traits (it's addictive)--I don't know at this time if that "just" means I'd need to take a slow decline from it to come off, or if it's open to abuse. My first controlled substance prescription, woo hoo. Fancy.

Started to change my routine and not load up with seven pills all at once in the AM, four at middayish and another six at bedtime and taking two, wait an hour, take another couple, mix the neurontin intake with the anti-deps.

Feeling wise: still cotton headed, still dizzy, sleep comes and goes. headaches are a complete bastard and sunlight is unbearable even with the 16 Ibuprofen. Can't afford a real pain-killer though, which isn't fun. Whatever damage my liver was getting from booze I can't help but think this must be almost as bad. No real desire to drink (the occasional "a beer would be nice", but no "god I must have a drink"). Shakes are getting better I think, but as soon as I notice them, I go to jelly. The xanax apparently will also make me dizzy, stagger, clumsy: so I'll still look like a drunk. Wonderful.

Keep telling myself that this is all for the good and all this crap should go away in time, and the positive effects should kick in in a few weeks. It's just been a hellish time with a new drug per week and dosage changes etc.

On the bright side, Mike's doctor is keeping him on his anti-deps for at least another month. That's good. Ah well.